So, here are some of my random thoughts set down, to make room in my brain for all of the other stuff that is supposed to be in there.
I am a year into a full time phd in international law, and it is a challenge. Whopping understatement. I am blogging so that I can procrastinate, but hopefully also to make some sense of why I am doing this, and to drag myself through the frozen wastelands of writers block.
I am not a typical student, although I probably feel like a fake just as much, if not more as the 'average' phd student... if such a creature exists. I am ahh, mature... and that means don't ask. I have a family and friends and relatives, all of whom I am grateful to for enriching my life. But as I have found in this last year, having a life takes up so much time. Fanciful dreams of churning out wonderful papers and finding time to read all those novels on my to-read list have withered on the altar of my poor time management, questionable motivation and exercise in the hard won skill of my existing phd, in procrastination.
Having reached crunch time -also known as pre-upgrade blues /why am I doing this navel gazing /it will be worth it in the end fatalism, I now have about 6 weeks to decide if to soldier on full time or go part-time. PT will somehow seem like a defeat. I haven't worked out why yet, perhaps it is because of my age. Perhaps it is because it will stretch the time I am being fairly crappy at being a parent, wife, friend, daughter, phd student to an even longer period.
Now having bored myself this is the end. Now I am actually going to read something and write something.
Really. I am. I just need a snack and a drink and to check facebook. Then I will be ALL OVER IT.
